35 for 35: a list to move through the year

i turned 35 this year. and for a while, that number sat in my chest like a rock.

not because i’m afraid of aging. i’m not. but because 35 felt like one of those numbers. the ones where thte world whispers: “you should probably have your life figured out by now.”

spoiler alert: i don’t.

but what i do have is curiosity. hunger. hope. and an enneagram 3’s unhealthy love for lists. (yes, i said it. sue me.)

“movement”

was my word of the year—not movement like “go to the gym more.” but movement as in: don’t stay stuck out of fear.

move forward. try new things. shift, even slightly, in the direction of the life you want.

so i made a list.
a big, ambitious, kind of random, kind of deep, kind of rad list.

35 things to do while i’m 35.
things to push me out of my comfort zone.
things to make me feel more me. to get some fucking whimsy back in my life.

some are #selfcare—like getting a massage or giving blood.
some are bold—like painting a mural or reading 100 books.
some are personal—like figuring out my signature style. (later edit: thanks, Albany & Avers in Omaha, for helping me with this. if you’re wondering, my style words are utilitarian, natural, and artisanal)
and some are just fun, because joy should always be on the list. this reminder is actually for me.

this isn’t a checklist for the sake of productivity.
it’s a compass.
a reminder to move (remember that movement word), even when things feel uncertain.

to say yes. to JUST TRY.
to figure out who i am right now—and who i’m becoming.

consider this blog my online journal. where i’ll be documenting my progress. like a new age xanga?
not just what i did, but what it felt like.
the sounds, the colors, the places.
(yes, there will be playlists. yes, there will be color palettes.)

i don’t know if i’ll finish the list. (although the enneagram 3 in me will die trying)
that’s not really the point.
the point is to move.
to notice. to create. to just show up for myself.
and maybe, if you're in your own “what the hell am i doing with my life” era,
you’ll make your own list too.

cheers to another year. and a few things crossed off our lists.

some gd whimsy back.

xoxo, taylor